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    Bob Balaban


      "Employee of the Quarter" (not)

      Bob Balaban  December 27 2013 03:08:49 PM
      Greetings, geeks!

      This one is not a technical topic, so feel free to move on. If you are my current (or potential future) employer, you should also probably move on at this point.

      In my work email today, I received a shotgun message announcing the current "Employee of the Quarter". The lucky designee receives preferential parking (near the building entrance) for 3 months. There was a long-ish description of how great the EotQ is, and why they were selected for this honor.

      Not to take away from someone who is obviously (from the email description) a very hard worker, get-it-done type of person, but I got to thinking in general about honors like this.

      So here, for anyone who's interested, is my list of reasons "Why I Will Never Be Employee of the Quarter", a fact to which I am entirely reconciled. The language of my list is taken from the award email:

      I do not give 110% (arithmetically impossible).
      I do not work tirelessly (I sometimes get tired).
      I do not go above and beyond every day (once in a while, maybe, but see previous comment about getting tired).
      I am not often viewed as exemplary by managers (I probably argue with them too much)

      So there you have it. There are probably more reasons than I've given, but I stopped thinking about it after these 4. Maybe my Geek pals can supply some more (about me, or about themselves...)

      Geek ya later!

      Follow me on Twitter @LooseleafLLC
      This article ©Copyright 2013 by Looseleaf Software LLC, all rights reserved. You may link to this page, but may not copy without prior approval.


      1Roberto Boccadoro  1/1/2014 11:00:40 AM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      Is a proven law of nature, people whose initials are RB never get this kind of award; trust me :-)

      2Marc Machiz  1/1/2014 11:18:10 AM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      If the eoq isn't known for questioning the status quo, you need a new gig, though perhaps one without an eoq. Machines work tirelessly, and rarely talk back.

      3Bob DeNario  1/1/2014 12:06:02 PM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      Sounds like the BS you hear about at IBM or Microsoft where they pit employees against each other instead of working as a team.

      4Bob Balaban  1/1/2014 3:54:53 PM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      Hey Marc, this IS my new gig :-)

      I do find, in larger companies, that snark is sometimes an effective antidote (yet another reason why I'll never be...)

      Re: machines, well, yeah, that's a big reason why I write software. I like to tell machines what to do

      5Bob Balaban  1/1/2014 3:59:42 PM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      @Roberto - wow, I never considered that there might be an initials-based conspiracy in operation :-)

      6Bob Balaban  1/1/2014 4:00:59 PM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      @Bob DeNario - I agree with your point about encouraging collaboration vs. competition. Not sure this particular manifestation goes that deep. Companies are always trying to find cheap ways to encourage employees to work harder, this is probably just another example.

      Stack-ranking, now THAT is evil.

      7Smithf62  5/18/2014 9:19:56 AM  John

      I do accept as true with all of the concepts you have offered in your post. They're really convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are very brief for beginners. May you please extend them a little from next time? Thanks for the post. dgbcdfdgeckkeegg

      8BigBlueOcean  7/25/2014 9:18:54 PM   Employee of the Quarter (not)

      Its a commandment in Galatians I think< "Do not seek the approval of other men (of either gender)"; and as a corollary, neither may I "deign Approval" of another person.

      If the work I do with Lotus Xpages is its own reward, any trophy or trinquette would almost be an affront.

      As Groucho Marx said,

      "Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member"